If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
