sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
