Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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