i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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