Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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