so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
