It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When did angry sex become our thing?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
