we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
