I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
