Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
