omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
