I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
