her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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