she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
