you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
