I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
thus making me awesome and them whores
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
