yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
