Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
well you can't waste a boner
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
