just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
