They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
