My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
