Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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