My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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