he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
