I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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