There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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