What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
