Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You need Xanax blowdarts
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
