New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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