Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
