I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
