you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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