Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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