That reminds me...we need to get swords
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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