Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You took a bar mat shot.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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