i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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