I feel great
I just peed on a car
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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