also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
