While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize