Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
