so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
