I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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