At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
