dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
