You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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