A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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