just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
