so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm at about main and main street
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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