well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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