She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
