yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
