so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish I only lived at night.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
