You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
