so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
