he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
