3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Terrible idea I love it
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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