so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
