i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
