If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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