I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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