I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
